I have lost count, over the years of the number of times I have heard “I just want to be normal”. Just like the cow in the picture I always say, “So define normal for me”. I am usually met with, “you know…..Normal”. I always feel like Dumbledore with my response to this, but I counter with “Alas, I do not”.
The blank and confused looks I get to that one has been a many. You may ask why I chose to do this, and the answer I will give you is the same as the conversation I then have with them. Normal or the states “norm” is a lie or a myth. It does not exist. It is a perspective that is unique to the individual. Hence, “to each his/her own”.
I will take it one step further in illustration for you. I worked for a company, that has hospitals, branches, and facilities all over the United States, and different parts of the world. The company boasted about having over 500,000 plus employees. If we were to gather all of those individuals, in one place, at one time, for one event, and at said event, had them all write down their own definition of what “normal” meant to them, when we tried to match two together, we would be unable. Not one definition of normal, from one employee to another definition from another employee would match from the whole 500,000. The reason being is they all view the world, and life completely differently. This is called their “world view”.
Their world view is made up of all the people, places, events, times, experiences, circumstances, culture, environment, trauma, family, and so much more that they grew up in. Because no two people grew up and saw the world the exact same way, even twins, what they will see as normal will be different.
This is also why when we compare ourselves to someone else, what they have, what they don’t have, what we wish we had, or what we wish we did not have, it is just flat out wrong. Our situation is different from anyone else’s. Our lives are different from anyone else’s. Our history and dynamics are different. We will never be anyone else.
That is why it is so important that we stop comparing ourselves to others and accept who we are as unique individuals. We have to love who we are with all of our flaws. We have to be willing to stand up boldly, proudly, and with our heads held high, and say “this is who I am!!”.
I for one, openly admit I am unique, odd, different, one of a kind, and have absolutely no shame in being me.
We were never meant to be like everyone else, to blend in, to be part of the crowd, we were meant to be unique individuals with our own identities. So as the caterpillar from Alice in wonderland asked, “Who Are You?”
Until we next speak, stay safe, believe in yourself, encourage others and grow
