There’s something deeply powerful about the identity we create through sports.
It can influence what we care about, the people we hang out with, and what we do day to day. There is so much time and effort put into creating a skill. A sport teaches you about discipline, perseverance, teamwork, and growth. It even has this magical way of creating a sense of belonging and purpose. So, how do we begin to cope with the loss of something that has defined us for so long?
The loss of a beloved sport, regardless of the cause, can trigger a profound sense of grief. This grief is often silent, unacknowledged by those around us who may not understand the depth of the connection to your athletic pursuits. It can be triggered by an injury that sidelines you indefinitely, by a shift in life circumstances and priorities, by the end of a season, or by any number of unforeseen events that disrupt the ability to participate in the sport you love.
At first, there’s the natural instinct to search for a way to hold onto what was. You may try to find a substitute. Maybe you try to keep up with light jogs even when your body isn’t healed, or you still pull out your college soccer jersey, hoping to relive the thrill of scoring your first goal. However, that doesn’t always fix the depth of the loss.
Honestly, the thing you love isn’t there anymore in the same way, and that can bring up feelings of frustration, sadness, regret, and even anger. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to feel lost for a while and what seems like a painful end can also be the beginning of a new era.
Once the initial grief begins to settle, a new question arises: “What now?” In many ways, this question can be a gift, though it doesn’t always feel that way at first. When we lose one passion, the possibility of discovery begins. Maybe your new beginning is to allow yourself the freedom to explore, freedom to rest, or to try new things without the pressure of being good at them right away.
Like the first time you kicked a soccer ball or put on running shoes, the new pursuit may feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable at first—but that’s where the beauty of rediscovery lies. You don’t have to be an expert. You don’t even have to be good. You just need to be open to the experience.
The beauty of discovering a new skill is that it teaches you the humility of starting from scratch again. You are reminded that passion doesn’t always need to be honed over years of practice. Sometimes, it simply needs to be nurtured with curiosity and the willingness to experience something different.
Instead of focusing on performance and competition, I too, began to see the value in the joy of movement itself. My identity expanded. I wasn’t just a runner anymore. I was someone who embraced a variety of passions, someone willing to try new things, someone who is learning the importance of patience and self-compassion.
The transition isn’t easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Honestly, there are moments when I still feel discouraged and the ache of what was lost, but those moments became fewer as I began to embrace the new and nurture the old parts. I started to see the beauty in being a beginner again, in taking things one step at a time. My new passion didn’t have to erase the old one—it could exist alongside it.
We are not defined by a single activity, even if it feels that way for a very long time. Our identities are much more layered and multifaceted. The loss of one passion is not the loss of our whole self. It’s an opportunity to grow, to challenge ourselves in new ways, and to rediscover what we love.
So…What’s the first step?
Embracing and nurturing the grief.
In time, the grief that once felt overwhelming turned into a quiet gratitude for the love you had for the team or the sport.
I can still hear the echoes of my past sports life— the long run, the team culture, the excitement and nervousness before races, the struggles to figure out if I had what it took—but I now embrace them as part of my story, not my identity. The new chapters may look different, but they’re still filled with the same passion, the same heart that only an athlete knows. The journey to rediscovery isn’t a destination, but a series of beautiful, messy steps forward.
So if you find yourself facing the loss of a sport, you are not alone. The journey of rediscovery may seem both exciting and daunting. It requires you to step outside of the set comfort zone and embrace the uncertainty that comes with change. But as you navigate this new chapter, you may find that you are more resilient and adaptable than you ever thought possible.
