ACCEPTANCE DOESN’T MEAN GIVING IN or GIVING UP! Protect Your Peace this Holiday Season and HONOR your VALUES!
The holiday season brings a whirlwind of emotions, joy, gratitude, nostalgia, but also overwhelm, pressure, and even grief. While the world encourages us to feel merry and bright, real life isn’t always so tidy. If you’re feeling stressed this holiday season, you’re not alone.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) oCers a compassionate, evidence-based approach to managing these emotions—not by trying to eliminate them, but by learning to live alongside them more peacefully.
In this blog, we’ll explore key ACT techniques you can use to stay grounded, present, and connected to what truly matters this holiday season.
What is ACT?
ACT (pronounced like the word “act”) is a form of behavioral therapy that focuses on six core processes:
- Acceptance
- Cognitive DiCusion
- Being Present
- Self-as-Context
- Values
- Committed Action
The goal of ACT isn’t to feel better, but to live better—to create a rich, meaningful life while making room for the full range of human emotions.
ACT Techniques for Holiday Stress
- Practice Acceptance: Let Go of the Holiday Ideal
Many of us carry a mental picture of what the holidays *should* look like—perfect meals, joyful gatherings, peace on earth. When reality doesn’t match, we feel disappointment or guilt.
ACT Strategy:
Rather than fighting these feelings, acknowledge them. Say to yourself:
“I notice I’m feeling anxious about how the holidays are going. That’s okay. These feelings are part of being human.”
Acceptance isn’t resignation; it’s making space for your experience without being consumed by it.
- Cognitive DiCusion: Unhook from Unhelpful Thoughts
Thoughts like “I have to make everyone happy” or “I can’t handle this stress” can show up on loop this time of year.
ACT Strategy:
When a stressful thought arises, say:
“I’m having the thought that I have to make everyone happy.”
Notice how adding that phrase creates some distance. The thought is still there, but it doesn’t own you.
- Mindfulness: Be Present in the Small Moments
The holidays can fly by in a blur of to-do lists. Mindfulness helps us slow down and connect with the present moment.
ACT Strategy:
Take 60 seconds to tune in. Notice the smell of pine, the taste of your drink, the sound of laughter—or silence. Let yourself fully experience *now*.
Even one mindful breath can shift your nervous system from “fight or flight” to “rest and digest.”
- Values: Connect with What Matters Most
Instead of chasing holiday perfection, ACT invites you to ask: (What really matters to me this season?) ACT Strategy:
Write down 2–3 values that resonate with you this holiday (e.g., connection, kindness, simplicity, honesty). Use these as a compass for your choices.
If your value is “connection,” maybe that means calling a friend instead of buying another gift.
- Committed Action: Take One Small Step
Once you’ve identified your values, committed action means taking small, meaningful steps—even if discomfort is along for the ride.
ACT Strategy:
Choose one thing you can do today that aligns with your values, no matter how small. It could be:
- Saying “no” to an event to protect your peace
- Starting a gratitude journal
- Volunteering, if that brings you purpose
Doing something small but intentional can help you feel more grounded and empowered.
Final Thoughts
Holiday stress is real, but so is your ability to meet it with courage and compassion.
ACT doesn’t promise a stress-free season—it invites you to **make space for the messy**, stay true to your values, and take committed steps toward a life that feels meaningful, even when it’s hard.
You’re allowed to feel it all: the joy and the stress. And you’re capable of navigating both.
Quick ACT-Inspired Holiday Reflection
Name 1 thought or feeling you’re struggling with this holiday season.
E.g., “I feel pressure to make everything perfect.” Now ask:
Can I accept that this thought or feeling is showing up?
Can I make space for it without letting it drive my choices?
What matters most to me right now?
What’s one small step I can take today toward that value?
