Ah, mom guilt—that sneaky little voice that shows up the moment the baby pops out and never, ever shuts up. It doesn’t matter what you do. Feed the baby formula? Guilt. Breastfeed too long? Guilt. Go back to work? Guilt. Stay home? Guilt. Let the kids watch one tiny episode of Bluey so you can poop in peace? Oh, you better believe the guilt is watching you from the shower drain.
It’s like your own personal unpaid, overachieving life coach who’s also a little judgey and probably drinks decaf on purpose.
Let’s break this monster down with a little humor and a few practical ways to manage it before we all start crying into our Paw Patrol mugs.
- Recognize the Guilt Monster
First, name it. Literally. Give it a name like “Debbie Downer,” “Guiltzilla,” or “Karen from the PTA.” When the voice starts chirping—“Wow, store-bought cupcakes again?”—you can say, “Not today, Karen. These are frosted with survival.”
Recognizing guilt for what it is (a totally normal but annoying side effect of loving small humans too much) is the first step in shutting it up. Or at least turning down its volume like a toddler’s toy at 5 a.m.
- Lower the Bar (and then use it as a limbo stick)
You do not have to be Pinterest’s Mom of the Year. Your child doesn’t need organic bento box lunches, violin lessons at four, and daily affirmations whispered to them in Mandarin. They need a mom who’s doing her best and maybe occasionally hides in the bathroom with chocolate.
When in doubt, repeat the sacred mantra: “Alive, fed, and mostly clean.”
- Play the “What Would I Say to My Friend?” Game
Would you tell your best friend she’s failing because she let her toddler eat crackers off the floor? No? Then stop saying that stuff to yourself. Unless your friend is a raccoon. In that case, she’d probably be proud.
Treat yourself with the same kindness and grace you give to every other mom you know, including the ones who show up to preschool drop-off in pajama pants and a five-day-old bun. (Hey, that might be you—and that’s valid.)
- Embrace the Power of “Good Enough”
Listen. No one is perfect, and even if they were, their kid would probably still lick the floor at Target. So let’s embrace “good enough” parenting. That means:
- Mac and cheese three nights in a row? Good enough.
- Forgot to send in the permission slip but remembered on the second reminder email? Good enough.
- Took your kid to the park but scrolled Instagram the whole time? Good. Freaking. Enough.
- Call in Reinforcements (a.k.a. Your People)
When mom guilt gets loud, text that one friend who keeps it real. You know the one—she once told you she “accidentally” left her kid’s lunch on the roof of the car and just drove off. (You know who you are, Tina. We salute you.)
Venting, laughing, and connecting with other imperfect moms is the secret sauce to surviving guilt. And wine. Sometimes it’s wine.
Final Thoughts: Your Kids Think You’re Magic
Sure, they think you’re also a snack dispenser, poop detective, and walking tissue, but mostly, you’re magic. They don’t see the guilt. They see the hugs, the laughter, the cuddles during scary movies, and the person who can fix a boo-boo with a single SpongeBob Band-Aid.
So give yourself a break. You’re doing enough. You are enough. And on days when you forget that, there’s always bathroom chocolate.
